The lightning strikes once, but the fire builds gradually. In the alchemy of connection, recognition is instant while development is cumulative.
Male attachment operates on dual timelines simultaneously: the binary recognition occurs within days—that fundamental "yes" that cannot be manufactured—while the textured relationship that follows develops through the artful dance of banter, tension, and progressive vulnerability.
This resolves the apparent contradiction. The man who hasn't experienced that core recognition within two weeks never will, regardless of time invested.
Yet those who have experienced this initial spark still require the dance of courtship—that sovereign play where minds engage without either retreating into intellectualism or collapsing into emotion.
The lightning provides the potential; the dance determines its expression. Without the initial spark, no choreography creates authentic desire. But initial recognition without skillful development creates only brief flares of connection without sustainable heat.
Time doesn't create new elements—it only unfolds what was already written in that first exchange. But how that unfolding occurs depends entirely on the subtle language of banter, where two people demonstrate their capacity for simultaneous presence and boundary.
The wisest lovers understand both principles: they recognize the immutable truth of first impressions while mastering the art of gradual, intentional escalation that transforms recognition into relationship.